Bandz - Ballout [Feat. SD] (Ballin No NBA, 2013)
I think listening to the Ballout tape has given me a concussion. I can’t tell whether certain songs (such as this or this) are legitimately funny or I’m laughing from some ironic hipster perspective that hides within me. I haven’t gotten that far in self-analysis. Did you know that you could make a song sound good if you over accent and stretch out all of your vowels in somewhat of a singsong? Did you know that Ballout perfected autotune? What would this song be without the vaguely Caribbean cartoon computer steel drum noises? I think I like Ballout more as a character – the friend of Chief Keef that has a large head and dances both subtly and gracefully. He always looks pretty happy, too. The tape’s cover also proves that he is probably a genius.
If nothing else, Ballout’s dance will be canonized and that is how we will remember him. Trapaholics did a fine job sequencing this tape. So fine a job that they’ve almost convinced me it is good – and then I listen to the tape again and feel concussed. I listen to how well “My Set” blends into “Boss Shit”, but I can’t listen all the way through “My Set” after I’ve listened to it once so I have to fast forward to the end to hear the transition. Why would anyone ever do that? And then Blood Money bores me, so I listen to Ballout’s one humorous line, “put molly all in her drink on my Ross shit” and move on.
“Lean” (Also Very Caribbean! Yes!) is “Zan with that Lean” 5.0 (do rappers shy away from remaking “Zan with that Lean: Part 2” because it is one of the best rap songs of the past twenty years?) and “Change” is enjoyable but uses the same (but inverted) eerie synth line as “They Know”. “Been Ballin” works, as Ballout only occupies one short verse – but then Keef raps and you realize he is one hundred times better. “Been Ballin” segues seamlessly (trapaholics wusshannin) into another one of the tapes best tracks, “All Des Racks.” Once again, Ballout raps for one verse and there is no Blood Money or Trey Savage to impose on your listening pleasure. Soulja Boy was once on “All Des Racks,” but Ballout allegedly stole his chain blah blah blah who cares they should have a dance-off with Ballout’s signature jogging man maneuver going head to head against the “Zan with That Lean: Part Two” dance (the whole video is basically a dance instructional).
Ballout should just make heavily autotuned songs (I.E. “I Got A Bag”) and never rap more than one verse or let his friends who are worse than him (What? How?) join him. I just wrote more than anyone else ever will or should write about Ballout. I will listen to this tape again and I don’t know why. I will continue to hope that Ballout drops the Great American Rap Song every time I see he has released a new track and I don’t know why. Get the tape at Live Mixtapes or something, I don’t know.
