The Human Digest

Bandz - Ballout [Feat. SD] (Ballin No NBA, 2013)

I think listening to the Ballout tape has given me a concussion. I can’t tell whether certain songs (such as this or this) are legitimately funny or I’m laughing from some ironic hipster perspective that hides within me. I haven’t gotten that far in self-analysis.  Did you know that you could make a song sound good if you over accent and stretch out all of your vowels in somewhat of a singsong? Did you know that Ballout perfected autotune? What would this song be without the vaguely Caribbean cartoon computer steel drum noises? I think I like Ballout more as a character – the friend of Chief Keef that has a large head and dances both subtly and gracefully.  He always looks pretty happy, too.  The tape’s cover also proves that he is probably a genius.

If nothing else, Ballout’s dance will be canonized and that is how we will remember him.  Trapaholics did a fine job sequencing this tape.  So fine a job that they’ve almost convinced me it is good – and then I listen to the tape again and feel concussed.  I listen to how well “My Set” blends into “Boss Shit”, but I can’t listen all the way through “My Set” after I’ve listened to it once so I have to fast forward to the end to hear the transition. Why would anyone ever do that?  And then Blood Money bores me, so I listen to Ballout’s one humorous line, “put molly all in her drink on my Ross shit” and move on.

“Lean” (Also Very Caribbean!  Yes!) is “Zan with that Lean” 5.0 (do rappers shy away from remaking “Zan with that Lean: Part 2” because it is one of the best rap songs of the past twenty years?) and “Change” is enjoyable but uses the same (but inverted) eerie synth line as “They Know”. “Been Ballin” works, as Ballout only occupies one short verse – but then Keef raps and you realize he is one hundred times better. “Been Ballin” segues seamlessly (trapaholics wusshannin) into another one of the tapes best tracks, “All Des Racks.” Once again, Ballout raps for one verse and there is no Blood Money or Trey Savage to  impose on your listening pleasure. Soulja Boy was once on “All Des Racks,” but Ballout allegedly stole his chain blah blah blah who cares they should have a dance-off with Ballout’s signature jogging man maneuver going head to head against the “Zan with That Lean: Part Two” dance (the whole video is basically a dance instructional).

Ballout should just make heavily autotuned songs (I.E. “I Got A Bag”) and never rap more than one verse or let his friends who are worse than him (What? How?) join him.  I just wrote more than anyone else ever will or should write about Ballout. I will listen to this tape again and I don’t know why.  I will continue to hope that Ballout drops the Great American Rap Song every time I see he has released a new track and I don’t know why.  Get the tape at Live Mixtapes or something, I don’t know.

Either I don’t use the internet or this is old or I’m late or I’m stupid but this song is so beautiful?  Something deep inside of me wants to compare this and “No Love” to a certain part of Wayne’s run around 2007 with “I Feel Like Dying” but I also vow to never fall out with Future like I did with Wayne (very personal relationships we are all good friends, yes).  Drummer Boy - holy wow! 

“Ethereal” - me when I was “writing” about music.

Too tired type words.  Song good with alien noise from Shorty Swing My Way.  Strap makes solo tape to (presumably) make somewhat non-Travis Porter musix and best song is Travis Porter song.  I don’t know how to make songs available for download anymore because file sharing sites scare me.  Jerikah.

Shooting Star - Young Thug (Feat. Gucci Mane) (1017 Thug, 2013)

Standout from 1017 Thug.  Younger brother trying to drunkenly impress his older brother.  Frequent use of “bro”.  Gucci using the perfect amount of autotune on the second verse.  Chorus emotional midnight starlit evening.  Most likely on the beach.  Imagine what Young Thug looks like when he records his music.

Confessions - Plies (36 Ounces, 2009)

There is always space in the world for rap remixes of R&B songs.  Or for renditions of old R&B songs by rappers that also sing.  Trust Bigga Rankin.  Long live Bigga Rankin.

Know Y I Came - Ty Dolla $ign (Beach Hou$e, 2012)

There are many lovely songs on Beach Hou$e, most of which fall into the same overtly raunchy Rap/R&B category as “Know Y I Came”.  None of the others, however, will cause you to sing in the highest pitch your vocal chords can access until your throat is sore (Okay, maybe “Booty Poppin” too) and mime all of the typical r&b gestures (fists clenched and held out to the side while you really stretch to hit that high note, wearing a facial expression of cool and sincere sexuality as if you were singing to someone but know no one is there - nonetheless straining to maintain the look you subconsciously committed to memory at a very young age watching Jodeci/Keith Sweat/ New Edition music videos - in case somehow someone is secretly watching but then you would probably be very embarrassed by this posturing because your friends think rap and especially r&b are too directly sexual and it makes them anxious).

Back It Up - Rich Kidz (Feat. Future) (Straight Like That 3, 2012)

Future and Whiny Boyz over a mildly sped up version of Jeremih’s Fuck You All the Time.

How does Future choose the specific autotune pitch that he uses? Is it when he hears the instrumental? Before or after he performs his verse? I much enjoy this wobbly robot autotune setting.  Does Future control the autotune settings himself, or is it the engineer?  I imagine he handles it himself.

There needs to never be another rap punchline about kicking things in a certain manner.

On Top of Your Girl - Fat Trel (Feat. Meatchi) (Pre-Nightmare Internet Release, 2011)

The best song that was released in 2011 and based on a Lil Twist chorus but had an inferior (my opinion) reworking properly released in 2012 on a mediocre mixtape that was recreated after Fat Trel’s manager wouldn’t part with Trel’s previously recorded material.

Never 2 Much - Ty$ (Hou$e On The Hill, 2011)

I wish I had more time to post here but I don’t know what a computer is anymore and then I look on the internet and the songs I want to talk about were discussed months before at great length.  Fear not, dedicated tumblr bots and spam [swamp] people, I’m going to try and begin taking moments out to share these musics that you need inside of your skull right around the brain region.  “Never 2 Much” is the opening track from Ty$ debut mixtape Hou$e on The Hill (Ty$ <3’$ dollar $ign$).  He’s the man-boy responsible for one of 2012’s best tapes, Whoop!, that manages to stay afloat despite each song being shared with a chronically boring Joe Mo$es.  I can’t even make it all the way through the rest of Hou$e on The Hill, it seemed DJ Mustard was experimenting with Eurotrash Araabmuzik knockoffs and struck gold with this intro, never to achieve the same glory with the following 15 songs.  It’s important to never write about the actual song you are posting and instead distract and discuss the shortcomings surrounding the rest of an artists work.

Weekend - Joe Moses & Ty$ (Whoop! The Mixtape, 2012)

No time for writing when the woods are your home.  Wanted to drop this off and note that I’m more excited for Ty$ forthcoming Beach Housemixtape than anything else.  Also, Joe Moses is mostly a pretty boring rapper but this whole tape is amazing.

No Pat Down - Shady Nate (Feat. J Stalin & Thrill) (The Drofessional, 2012)

“I got the line on the soft if ya ask me, dirty white girl - Kreayshawn, V-Nasty”

J. Stalin - what a melodic dude.

I’m From The South - Lil Phat (Never Use a Pen Again, 2011)

I didn’t listen to Lil Phat per Boosie’s suggestion. He claimed Phat ruined Superbad, and made his way onto all the records through his father’s status as Trill Ent chairman.  This was a mistake.   His dad is the CEO of Trill ENT, but it doesn’t take away from Phat’s skill and fatalistic raps about Baton Rouge.  His drawl mixed with the Louisiana bounce found on almost all of his tracks fits him right in with Foxx, Mouse, and the other lost Baton Rouge representatives of Trill Ent.  Phat’s been getting a lot more play than Foxx in the past year.  If anything it’s because most of Foxx’s tapes sound like they were recorded in a closet with a usb mic. So maybe Boosie was right and Phat gets the proper mixing/mastering thanks to his dad.  Whoops.

Pluto - French Montana (Feat. Dame Grease) (Goon Music 2.OWWW, 2009)

Celebration of all things Pluto in honor of Future Hendrix.  Early, far out of tune French Montana hooks.  Dame Grease production above almost anything and everything else.  Dame Grease rapping, not in auto tune - which reminds me of the time he rapped over Exhibit A in auto tune and “hip-hop enthusiasts” cried. His auto tune rapping moniker was “Blanket Jackson,” how could you be angry at that?

Stay On - Danny Brown (Hybrid Cutting Room Floor, 2010)

Remember that year Danny Brown’s “cutting room” tracks made a better tape than every other rappers proper release?  This is far from the best song on the tape, but definitely has the funniest intro.

“I will throw you out the window, blaze up some indo, cut on Ron Browz ‘Jumpin Out the Window’ - the hook come for info, ask ‘em what they hear fo’, and just tell ‘em, ‘he was listenin’ to Ron Browz’ (I’m jumpin out the window)”

Was thinking of Danny Brown intros after listening to his Prodigy “I break bread, ribs, hundred dollar bills” appropriation on “Dilla Bot Vs. The Hybrid” where he opens, “I break laws, jaws, and false promises - still livin’ in the same hood where my momma is”.

Diamonds & Wood - UGK (Ridin’ Dirty, 1996)

Pimp C’s verses (especially the second) are better than everything all “conscious rappers” have ever done … added together.  Even though “conscious rap” may not be a real term. I more so mean “I’m smarter than you” rap. The type that people who are embarrassed about listening to rap listen to so they can tell their friends, “I listen to rap, but not the stupid kind!” Unfortunately, “Southern Rap” tends to get lumped into this category as wholly representative of “not smart rap music”.

Rite - Future (Feat. Scooter) (True Story, 2011)

For some odd reason I have ignored this track for almost an entire year.  Even though True Story was one of my favorite/most listened to tapes/albums of 2011.  I could tolerate Scooter if every single one of his verses was drenched in autotune. Future’s verse is still far superior, though.  I could also do with more wispy lost in drugs autotune ala “Rite” and/or “Zan with that Lean Part 2” in 2012.

In the words of Vybz Kartel, “Russian! Make me robot!”

Was Wayne the precursor to all of this?

Roll Wit It - Three 6 Mafia (Feat. Project Pat) (Most Known Unknown, 2005)

Juicy J is a living, breathing human that wears mink coats, furry as Chewbacca. Once upon a time, humans used phones that made a chirping sound when they contacted people.  This technology has since been phased out.  Technology is bad.  Humans are good, mostly.  Robots are bad.  This is an important rap song for the life of a human.

Standing by Starz - Jacka (Feat. Fed-X) (The Jack Artist, 2005)

If Three Six Mafia’s “Ridin’ Spinners” came out in 2003, I’d say this track belongs to the Late-Spreewell Era.  The spinning rim days were some of rap’s greatest. 

“While you battle cats in ciphers trying to pick up bars, I’m in the space ship - my navigation searching for Mars” - Fed-X

Ocean Front View - Eldorado Red (Feat. Bambino Gold & Gorilla Zoe)

Gorilla Zoe always had a raspy rapper voice, but seems to have thrown that super Shyne two packs of cigs a day strain on for this one. 

Deuces (Remix) - Gucci Mane (Ferrari Music, 2010)

The gentler, more soft spoken side of Gucci Mane.  Need more popular songs remade into solid raps … in my life.  Why didn’t anyone remake “Grenades” into a chorus about “coming down choppin on blades for ya”? Must have more R&B remakes as well.